"Everyone On The Bus! Not So Fast, Coach."

Kiffin Voted Off The Island

Lane Kiffin's reaction to Pat Haden.

Following RB Tre Madden’s 24-yard scamper one minute into the second half, USC coach Lane Kiffin strutted on the Trojan sideline, smirk firmly planted on his face.  To his surprise, not a single player coming off the field went over to him to share a hug, handshake, or high-five.  Only a defensive lineman, who happened into his vicinity, gave Kiffin a congratulatory gesture, and half-heartedly at that.  This screamed volumes in what turned out to be a rout of supreme proportions.  Upon his return to LAX, the team bus was told to leave without him aboard, and within minutes a metaphorical bloodbath ensued, with Kiffin being relieved of his duties.  As Mike Greenberg of ESPN tweeted, “You don’t treat people the way Lane Kiffin treated people, because when the time comes that you need them, there’s no one there to get your back.”

Here’s how the rest of our college football world fared last weekend:

St. Lawrence 30, Union 20.  The Saints spoil Union’s Liberty League debut, but it isn’t easy.  St. Lawrence is held to 266 of total offense, compared to Union’s 411.   Following a blocked punt, the Dutchmen actually take the lead early in the 2^nd quarter when RB Darnel Thomas breaks a 57-yard run followed immediately by a 5-yard dive into the endzone.  But once again the Garnet’s young O-line is a drive killer, as it allows five more QB Connor Eck sacks.  An 4^th-quarter interception at mid-field leads to St. Lawrence putting a field goal, and the finishing touch, on the scoreboard.

Karson Roberts...or is it Weston Steelhammer?

Nevada 45,  Air Force 42.  Falcons lead the entire game until midway through the 4^th quarter.  3^rd-string QB Karson Roberts has what, by those world-renowned Air Force standards, could be considered an outstanding performance, completing 50% of his passes and rushing for 261 yards and two scores.  Unfortunately, Roberts’ final two passes come on the same play, which is a tiny rule infraction.  In fact, the second pass is complete, albeit to a Nevada defender.  The star of the day is the Wolf Pack’s signal-caller Cody Fajardo, whose return from a two-game absence due to a sprained knee features three TDs through the air and two more (including the game-winner) on the ground.

Army 35, Louisiana Tech 16.  As soon as one thinks a team can’t win without a balanced offense, Army comes along.  The lone service academy to notch a W this weekend, the Black Knights push LaTech all over the field, dominating time of possession and rushing for 414 yds.  RB Terry Baggett dashes to three scores while averaging nearly 8 yds./carry.  QB Angel Santiago throws just three passes and completes only one for 16 yards.   Cadet defense holds the Bulldogs to just 57 yds. on the ground, and although it gives up 320 through the air, forces two costly turnovers.

The story of Navy's day.

Western Kentucky 19, Navy 7.  O-ver ra-ted (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap).  Middies jump out to a 7-0 lead on a Keenan Reynolds 1-yd. run.  Sadly, Reynolds is injured late in the first half, whereupon Navy’s defense watches Western RB Antonio Andrews rush for 182 yds. and two TDs as the Hilltoppers score 19 unanswered.  Bobby Petrino (yes, THAT Bobby Petrino) gets off his motorcycle and out of the bar long enough to figure out the triple option, and his defense limits Navy to a shocking 107 yds. rushing.  Petrino should expect calls from  Troy Calhoun and Rich Ellerson before the week is out.

BYU 37, Middle Tennessee 10.  The Cougars’ QB Taysom Martin improves upon his resume by running roughshod over Middle Tennessee.  Martin passes for 177 and runs for 165 and two scores.   Both teams guilty of miscues, including fumbles, blocked punts, and a Blue Raider safety.  Name of the Week #1:  Algernon Brown (BYU running back who ran out the clock with seven consecutive carries and two kneel-downs).  “Kneel-downs” appear just beneath “hurries” on the stat page.

#8 Florida State 48, Boston College 34.  Eagles throw an early scare into ‘Noles but FSU pulls away in the 2^nd quarter.  Super-frosh QB Jameis Winston throws for 330 yards and 4 TDs.  Winston is matched in TDs by BC’s Chase Rettig, but Rettig throws two picks to Winston’s one.  No more “wide left” or “wide right” for Florida State (eat your heart out, Bobby Bowden!), as PK Robert Aguayo is 5-for-5 field goals and 20-for-20 in PATs on the season.  Name of the Week #2:  Spiffy Evans (Boston College punt returner, who had 53 yds. on two returns).

The proverbial "hole big enough to drive a truck through"

Arizona State 62, USC 41.  Old-fashioned beat-down leaving even SC alums acknowledging changes need to be made.  Marquis Lee, ineffective for much of the season leading up to this game, leaves early in the 2^nd half with what is determined to be a “bad” knee injury.  Lee is so thoroughly insured against such possibilities that he’d probably be better off retiring than pursuing a career in pro football.  Prior to Saturday, the Trojans were ranked #4 in the country in yards allowed (230.5/game), but the Sun Devils gorge themselves on USC’s depleted defense by rolling to 612 yds. on the day.  QUESTION:  Does putting up 62 points against USC constitute running up the score?

#2 Oregon 55, California 16.  The hapless Bears are no match for the hurry-up Ducks.  Despite losing their #1 tailback to an ankle injury on the opening kickoff, Oregon runs off 41 unanswered points in the first half.  It's not only the high-octane offense, but also a physical defense that forces fumbles on the first four Cal possessions.  Even the torrential rainfall doesn’t slow down Oregon, which scores on runs, passes, and punt returns.  To be fair, the Ducks fumble six times themselves.  It's just that they recover four of them.  Berserkley's best defense is Oregon coach Mark Helfrich's decision to bench his starters after breaking 50 points.  This works in Cal's favor, as they hold Oregon to only a field goal from there on out, while the offense manages to win the 4^th quarter 6-0.

South Portland 41 Noble 14.  Absolutely NOTHING published to provide details.  So I'll make it up.  Senior 5-tool player Duncan Preston kicks 13 field goals and traps Noble's sophomore QB Otto Keisker behind the line for a safety to record an unassisted final tally of 41 points.  Head coach Steve Stinson remarks, "There's no truth to the rumor that we're gonna let Dunc play by himself next week against Bonny Eagle.  We'll save him for the Edward Little game."

Rogers 40, Spanaway Lake 23.  Rams run off 33 unanswered points to put away Sentinels.  Rogers QB Grayson Madland has another big day, throwing for two TDs and running for two others.   Final score is somewhat deceptive, as Spanaway Lake scores late in the game on a returned fumble.  Good news for Rogers:  their defense is improving agains its opponents,allowing the fewest points so far this season.