Being Unavoidably Detained

The Smack is back, after a self-inflicted hiatus.  Seems a very long week at work plus ever-advancing age caused momentary mental midgetry.  Fear not, my prognostications include a (brief) look back over the week that was.  I'm pretty dang excited about--what is this--Week 9?

To begin, here's a nod to some of my fellow Summitites (Summites?  Summitians?  Summitiacs?).  Principal Cara is a HUGE Oregon Duck fan, and the news that the initial BCS poll had them dropped to #4 was unwelcome to say the least.  Even my reporting that Union beat Rochester wasn't enough to assuage her angst.  So I'm reverting to the original rankings to predict that #2 Oregon will quack all over the 1-6 Colorado Buffalos.

Colleague "Mr. Rad" is actually a USC grad (more on that in a minute), but being a native Hawaiian wants to see the completely unranked Rainbows of 1-5 Hawaii to ram 1-6 Colorado State.  While I don't necessarily think that will happen, I'm more than happy to be pulling for that result.

Meanwhile, another colleague really needs to shore-up his alumni status.  After multiple weeks of being unable to answer "How'd Redlands do this weekend?", my social studies chair and good buddy Adam should be pleased to note that I'm picking his Bulldogs of 3-3 Redlands to leap the winless Claremont-Mudd-Scripps Stags.

As always, here's the rundown of the truly important games of the week:

Union (4-3) at #10 Hobart (7-0); last week W 20-7 vs. Rochester.  After starting the season 0-3, the Dutchmen have put together a nice little 4-game winning streak, and cling to a share of the Liberty League lead (English teachers:  please note, effective use of alliteration).  Too bad they have to travel to Geneva (New York, not Switzerland) where they’ll find the Top-10 Statesmen (in the Coaches’ Poll, they’re ranked #6; in the BCS, they're "WHO??").  Both teams thumped common opponents Springfield and Worcester Polytech.  But whereas UColl was schooled 45-17 by Utica, Hobart crushed the Pioneers 45-26.  My memories of Hobart as a Union undergrad are very positive, having had the best swim meet of my life there as a sophomore in 1973.  Afraid my beloved Garnet will suffer nightmares once their run defense has been shredded like RPI’s was last week.  PICK:  Hobart.

Air Force (4-3) vs. Nevada (6-2); last week W 28-23 vs. New Mexico.  Ankle injuries to both Connor Dietz and Cody Getz spell trouble for the Falcon offense.  High-powered running attack of the Wolf Pack spells trouble for the Falcon defense.  UNR, as they used to be known, is coming off a heartbreaking 39-38 loss to Fresno State last week, and has a perfect 4-0 road record this season.  Nevada RB Stefphon Jefferson is leading the country in rufphshing at 156 yds./game, while The Academy’s front seven can’t disrupt a presidential debate.  I’m going with the Pack.  PICK:  Nevada.

Army (1-6) vs. Ball State (5-3); last week L 38-48 vs. Eastern Michigan.  Another week, another MAC opponent.  Home field advantage to the Cadets, but they can’t stop the other team from running on the field.  Cardinals roll up over 400 yds./game employing “backfield by committee”, having three potent RBs.  The Black Knights will be relieved to know Ball State usually plays only two at a time.  But when one is injured as was the case last week, another steps in and nevertheless runs for 100 yds.  Even Colin Powell is picking Ball State.  PICK:  Ball State.

Navy (4-3) at East Carolina (5-3); last week W 31-30 vs. Indiana.  Middies are riding a 3-game winning streak after last week’s thriller against them Hosers…I mean, Hoosiers.  Pirates are undefeated at home this season, averaging 22-point victories over visiting teams.  Can ECU gain 600 yds. as it did last week against Central Michigan?  Can their defense shut down Navy’s 13^th-ranked rushing attack as it did to Alabama-Birmingham?  I say there are too many conditions which must be met for a Navy win.  PICK:  East Carolina.

BYU (4-4) at Georgia Tech (3-4).  Matchup of teams that “woulda, shoulda, coulda” at the beginning of this season.  BYU has played the tougher schedule, and while it has found scoring to be a challenge, it has more than contained opponents’ offensive output.  Though injury has been a factor in the anemic offense, the Cougars seem to turn the ball over at the worst possible times.  Tech has lots of offensive weapons, including a ground game good for 340 yds./game led by RB Zach Laskey.  The Jackets have two QBs, Tevin Washington and Vad Lee, who don’t throw for a lot of yards but do put points on the board.  PICK:  Georgia Tech at home.

#10 USC (6-1) at Arizona (4-3).  I still can’t figure out head coach Lane Kiffin.  First it was the 29-second presser, and now he’s been caught having players switch jerseys during games.  When asked, he copped to the charge but insisted that it was according to NCAA rules.  Ummm, no.  None of that may matter, as the Men of Troy go after program win #800 against the Wildcats in Tucson.  Everybody knows how potent the USC offense can be, with both ground and air forces.  Sometimes overlooked is their defense, which specializes in sacks and turnovers.  While U of A has the fifth-ranked offense in the country, Southern Cal is just better on both sides of the ball.  Besides, we won’t know who’s on the field at any given time because of those jerseys.  PICK:  USC.

New Mexico (4-4) vs. Fresno State (5-3); last week L 23-28 vs. Air Force.  Lobos positively giddy about prospects of winding up bowl-eligible.  Not so fast, boys.  FSU comes to town with a defensive that is second in the nation in interceptions.  Solution?  Don’t pass the ball, which New Mexico doesn’t much anyway (56 yds./game).  So UNM will unleash Kasey Carrier, who ran for 338 against Air Force last week.  Too bad that the Lobos are impotent on pass defense, which will make Bulldog QB Derek (“Don’t call me David”) Carr drool.  Carr has thrown 22 TD passes vs. only 4 INTs.

South Portland (2-6); last Saturday W 19-6 vs. Portland in the all-important “Battle of the Bridge”.  My stepbrother Tom emailed me last week to give positive feedback on the Smack.  Sadly, it was a cleverly disguised vehicle by which to rub my face in the dirt of a 56-7 loss the week before to his alma mater, the Deering Rams.  Mercifully, another season has come to an end in the ‘burbs.  But we just can’t do without more of those memorable Steve Stinson quotes.  Coach Stinson thinks that football, even under the most horrible circumstances of a Red Riot loss, is still God’s will.  PICK:  Unable to lure Jack Flynn out of retirement, Stinson will be re-hired next year.

Rogers (4-4) at Puyallup (3-5); last week L 33-41 to Curtis.  Obviously, public education in the Pacific Northwest is in trouble.  Vikings’ helmets use the abbreviation “VIKS”.  Thought that was a metholated rubbing ointment.  But I digest…Puyallup’s version of the “Battle of the Bridge”.  Could it be the “Battle for Ezra Meeker’s Mansion”??  The winner claims the 4^th and last district automatic bid to the playoffs, while the loser still has a chance in what’s described as a “pigtail game” (that’s not as funny as “squid”) against the SPSL-North’s 5^th-place team for the last district bid.  Not exactly an away game for the Rams.  All of this filler is because I can’t find any meaningful stats by which to compare the teams.  So here’s for all you Burbank nieces and nephoos.  PICK:  Rogers, because it’s my blog, dammit.

Assist Goes To Jules

Today I received the following email from my wife:  "When you do your football smack, make sure you favor the Crimson Tide by 3 touchdowns over Mizzou, since their QB is out and the offensive line is not doing well, either."  Love that woman.  Not only did I go to the grocery store for her, I went BACK to buy the celery I forgot on the first trip.

Of course, it's an infrequent treat when I decide to comment on a Top 25 game involving someone other than a team usually followed by The Smack.  But now that she's got me started, let me add South Carolina to humble LSU, Oklahoma to wound Texas in the Red River Shootout, and Notre Dame to load up on an overrated Stanford.  For the truly important games, read on.  It's Week 7 in college football!

Union (3-3) idle.  Next opponent:  Rochester at home (10/20).

Air Force (2-3) at Wyoming (1-4).  This year’s Wyoming team has had more bright moments than its record suggests.  The Cowboys played Texas tough in their opener, then lost nondescript games to Toledo and Cal Poly before taking both Idaho and Nevada to overtime.  QB Brian Smith is a 64% passer and can get Wyoming into the endzone (12 TDs this year).  Air Force likes to run, and the Cowboy defense gives up twice as much yardage on the ground as they do in the air, which explains their 111^th ranking in the nation.  While QB Connor Dietz can also throw, I predict lots more rushing, especially from the likes of Cody Getz.  Get ready for Getz’ fourth consecutive 200-plus yard ground game.  PICK:  Air Force

Army (1-4) vs. Kent State (4-1).  Let’s see…Kent victories have come over Towson, Buffalo, Ball State, and Eastern Michigan.  Meanwhile, Army’s coming off a huge win against Boston College.  The Cadets have a stable full of guys who know how to tackle.  Since Kent relies heavily on the run, it’ll be up to the Black Knight defense to cut down on the 460-plus yards they usually give up in a game.  Army owns the series 2-0, though doesn’t always play well against MAC teams.  Still, the game is in the friendly confines of Michie Stadium, so I’m gonna take a chance and sell you my UPSET #1—PICK:  Army.

Navy (2-3) at Central Michigan (2-3).  If the Navy team that shows up this week is the same one that ran for 359 yds. against Air Force, they’re home free.  CMU can’t stop a runny nose, allowing an average of over 450 yds. and 41 points per game.  Yet, if the Middie defense allows Chippewa QB Ryan Radcliff time enough to throw—or room enough to run—this will be a different game.  Navy also will have to shut down all-name RB Zurlon Tipton, who has already broken the 1,000 yd. rushing barrier in 2012.  Should be a close and interesting contest, and since it’s in Mount Pleasant (that’s in Michigan, folks), I’m going with homers.  PICK:  Central Michigan.

BYU (4-2) vs. #10 Oregon State (4-0).  Heard on this morning’s Dan Patrick Show that Notre Dame may be so focused on this week’s game against Stanford that they’re forgetting the rest of their killer schedule, which includes BYU next week.  The Cougar defense is beginning to play very well, and hopefully aren’t guilty of looking beyond Oregon State, which I think is just a little bit overrated.  At home in Provo, I just have a hunch that another surprise is in store for a Top 25 team.  So…UPSET #2—PICK:  BYU.

#11 USC (4-1) at Washington (3-2).  Can’t figure out which Trojan team will make the trip to Seattle.  These teams’ games in recent years have usually been close, and the Huskies have won twice in the last three years.  Remember:  this is Steve Sarkesian facing his old team, and his old colleague Lane Kiffin.  The game will be in Seattle (where the New England Patriots will vanquish the Seahawks and former USC coach Pete Carroll on Sunday).  The Huskies are coming off a pretty bad loss to a very good Oregon Duck team, while the Trojans are still celebrating their 38-28 escape from Utah.  Though Washington holds an advantage in passing yards over its opponents, they haven’t faced the likes of Matt Barkley and Marquis Lee.  I think it’s a safe bet, but don’t be surprised if it’s close.  Besides, my mother-in-law will be visiting for the weekend, wearing maroon and gold.  PICK:  USC.

New Mexico (3-3) at Hawaii (1-4).  Got to thinking back over Smack history…and do you know who Notre Dame hired after firing Bob Davie?  GEORGE O’LEARY!!  Remember George O’Leary?  Last laugh on the Irish (who, by the way, seem to have finally turned it around).  But we’re not here to discuss Notre Dame, we’re here to discuss New Mexico, and this week’s opponent, the U of Hawaii Rainbows.  The only thing the ‘Bows have going for them is home field advantage (including a four-hour time swing).  While the Lobos may jet-lag for awhile, expect their improving and balanced offense to keep Hawaii’s defense on the field until it gets bad, like the poi at a luau.  PICK:  New Mexico.

Pfffffffffffffft...There Goes the Wind Out Of My Sail

When my wife opened with, "The last time the A's faced Justin Verlander, their 4-5-6 hitters were 0-for-9", I knew I was in trouble.  Here's how Week #6 in college football went:

Union 21, Worcester Polytech 6.  Two early interceptions of WPI’s Jacob Grills brings replacement QB John Antonopolous off the bench.  Engineer defense offsets Grills’ sins by making consecutive 4^th-and-1 stops, keeping things close at the start.  Neither team can get off the schneid until midway through the second quarter.  Garnet QB Connor Eck spoils the Engineers’ homecoming by running for a score and passing for another, as UColl stays perfect in Liberty League play.  Two late WPI drives are stuffed by Union’s defense, one a 4^th down from the 10 and the other an interceptions following a WPI block of a Union punt.  It pays to play good defense.  It also helps that your QB can both pass and run.

Navy 28, Air Force 21 (OT).  What’s wrong with the Falcons?  Hope our actual Air Force doesn’t handle those expensive planes the way The Academy handles the ball in the endzone just before the clock runs out.  Much like a swimming race I once lost in high school, these cadets let those Middies hang around too close, too long.  RB Cody Getz spoils an otherwise stellar performance by coughing up the ball on the final play in regulation.  Connor Dietz also has a nice afternoon, completing nine passes for 144 yards.  Not only is Jake Zuzek the Squid hero by recovering the last-second fumble, he falls on another ball during Navy’s winning drive in OT.

Army 34, Boston College 31.  The Cadets’ hero is QB Trent Steelman, who scores the first and last touchdowns and runs for 141 yards on the day.  RB Raymond Maples adds 184 more on the ground, and the Black Knight defense baffles the hard-luck Eagles, who manage three straight scores (kick return, field goal, and TD pass) yet still lose.  BC has yet to beat a FBS opponent this season, and a tough ACC schedule doesn’t bode well for them.

BYU 6, Utah State 3.  This was supposed to be a rout, yet BYU can only muster one TD (and the PAT failed at that).  In fact, missed kicks and turnovers are the order of the day, as the Cougars sabotage any hopes of spending significant time in the Top 25.  QB Taysom Hill is 24-for-36 and 235 yards, which is not bad but will get no Heisman votes this year.

New Mexico 35, Texas State 14.  Two scoring bombs from the Bobcats’ Shaun Rutherford, who is 16-21 on the day, are not enough.  Lobo RB Kasey Carrier is the star of the show, with 23 carries, 191 yards, and four TDs.  All told, New Mexico rushes for nearly 361 yds.  Thanks also to two costly special teams mistakes, UNM has to throw the ball only three times all day.  I throw a football more times than that in a day, for cryin’ out loud.

9:00 AM Kickoff...REALLY!!

I know, I know...we Left Coasters don't get any points for being three hours behind the Right Coast.  But have a heart, it was a long and difficult week!  Cutting right to the chase (because otherwise my picks will seem fraudulent), here's the rest of the weekend in store for us in college football.

Union (2-3) at Worcester Polytech (1-4).  Dutchmen 2-0 in Liberty League, while Engineers are 0-2.  Union owns series 31-8, and taking a uber-stingy run defense into central Massachusetts leaves me no reason to think things will change.  PICK:  Union.

Army (0-4) vs. Boston College (1-3).  Neither team has much to brag about this season.  Game is at Michie Stadium, and Army has had a couple of close calls.  BC plays in a rough conference, but as Vince Lombardi once said, "I never learn anything from losing".  Or was that Mike Ditka?  Or maybe Mac Davis in North Dallas Forty?  At any rate, Eagles' balanced offense has the potential to run up a big score on the Cadets, as long as they can avoid turnovers.  If Army's offense can run more plays than BC (which has been the pattern throughout the ACC season), they have a chance.  But I seriously doubt their defense can contain the Eagles.  PICK:  BC.

New Mexico (2-3 vs. Texas State (2-2).  BREAKING NEWS:  LOBOS FAVORED!!  New Mexico facing a team coached by Dennis Franchione, who was Bobcats' coach from 1992-97.  T-State made the transition from FCS to FBS a couple of years back, and they're playing better as a result of better competition in the WAC.  A surprise early season victory over Houston is offset by a huge loss to Texas Tech.  They're going up against a New Mexico team that already has exceeded expectations this season, whose losses have come against Texas, Texas Tech, and a close one to Boise State.  Taking the quality losses, I have to go with the Lobos.  PICK:  New Mexico.

8:30 AM Kickoff...REALLY??

This will have to be very short because Air Force-Navy already started.  PICK:  Air Force.

More in a minute...