A Perfect Five-for-Five (plus a bonus)

Watched two great games, with a nice nap in between.  Missouri's great come-from-behind victory over Texas A & M was exciting, but not nearly as much as the Stanford-USC triple-overtime contest.  Were it not for the label of "This Year's Game of the Century", these two games--plus Clemson's unexpected shellacking at the hands of Georgia Tech--kind of make next week's LSU-Alabama game fade into obscurity.  Oh yeah, Air Force plays Army next week.  I'll be on the course at the Palencia Country Club in St. Augustine, raising money for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for the fourth consecutive year, so will miss most of the action on Saturday.  Here's how Week #9 looked from SoCal.
Union 38, RPI 28.  QB Drew Connolly throws for five TDs, including one each to Union's own "Gallo Brothers"--Ernest (a.k.a. Connor) and Julio (a.k.a. Justin). Also, the 2nd human being I've ever heard of with the name "Jimmer" (Bennett), who averaged 28.5 yds. per carry in a Schenectady air show worthy of more than just a podcast. Even RPI's Mike Hermann completed 23 of 33, for 349 yds. Apparently, no defense whatsoever was played. Who  cares?

Air Force 42, New Mexico 0.  UNM should be proud of holding "The Academy" to 42 points, well below their 47.2 pts./game points-against average for the season.  In fact, Falcon RB Mike DeWitt was held to 64 yds. on 15 carries, a measely 4+ yds./carry.  Too bad for the Lobos that his efforts resulted in four TDs.  Now THAT'S military efficiency!  Falcon defense rose to the occasion, notching the first score of the game on a fumble recovery, and sacking and picking off QB B. R. Holbrook twice each.


Army 55, Fordham 0.  Game only merits a mention in the Championship Subdivision category.  It takes only 55 yds. of actual running yardage for Cadets to score six TDs.  They add two more scores, one on a fumble recovery and one by air.  Fordham manages only 86 yds. of total offense.

Notre Dame 56, Navy 14.  Irish put on a running clinic for Middies, scoring seven--count 'em, SEVEN--times on the ground, while holding Navy under 200 yds.  Rumor has it that Touchdown Jesus tears a UCL giving the TD sign, and is scheduled for Tommy John surgery on Tuesday.

Louisiana Tech 38, San Jose State 28.  Hey, same as the Union-RPI score!  Spartans' QB Matt Faulkner was 33-for-49 and three TDs.  Unfortunately, he was intercepted four times.  State's running game was anemic, while LA-Tech had offensive balance spread over 500+ yds. of total offense.

South Portland 33, Sanford 13.  Ah, the joy of two-way football!  Riots' Logan Gaddar catches two TD passes and picks off Redskin QB Cody Mooney three times en route to a first-round playoff win.  Coach Steve Stinson has the day's best "teachable moment" when he describes his team's play as having a "deflating effect", then follows up by defining his term with, "I think it really took the air out of them."  And people wonder where I got my education...

Not to be outdone, The Summit Mountain Lions and Lady Mountain Lions both racked up volleyball victories of Mt. San Jacinto Continuation (Palm Springs).  This week the game was on Tuesday, not Thursday, and the bus left during SECOND period, not third.  Big road trip, fifteen miles.  Staff has large discussion at faculty meeting about eligibility requirements, sticking point being exactly how many classes can a "student-athlete" be failing before he/she is benched.

45-Minute Drill Brings On Week #9!

Quick, snap the ball!  Fortunately, the first game we care about doesn't begin for another 90 minutes, as I begin this post.


Union (3-4) vs. RPI (3-3).  Dutchmen 3-1 in conference, while Engine-nurds only 2-1.  This is the annual "Battle for the Dutchmen's Shoes" and we're at home in the friendly confines of Frank Bailey stadium.  Both teams have wins over St. Lawrence and Utica, but came out on different ends of identical scores when playing WPI (34-31 win for Union, loss for RPI).  Nod goes to the home team, but it's a good thing the snow isn't expected until tonight.  PICK:  Union.

Air Force (3-4) at New Mexico (0-7).  Why is there no quality football in "The Land of Enchantment"?  Despite the fact that the Falcons rank #111 in rushing defense, the Lobos average only 120 yds./game running the football.  The same does not hold when teams switch sides of the ball.  Wind Farce will not have to throw the ball much to walk away with a W.  PICK:  Air Force.

Navy (2-5) at Notre Dame (4-3).  Irish still smarting after getting embarassed by a mediocre USC team at home last week.  Of course, Navy will be mad after losing two close games.  Irish just have to keep Mids outside the 40 during the last few minutes of the 4th quarter, as Goats are too one-dimensional on offense.  Should be a win for the home team.  PICK:  Notre Dame.

Army (2-5) vs. Fordham (1-6).  Gone are the days of Blaik, Blanchard, and Davis.  And now the "Seven Blocks of Granite" are more like the seven blocks of cheese.  Since Rams allow their opponents to score exactly twice as many points as they do, I figure the Knights have a shot, especially at home.  PICK:  Army.


#4 Boise State.  Idle; next at UNLV

South Portland (6-2) vs. Sanford. (5-3).  Teams met in Week #3 with Riots coming away with a 42-34 victory.  'Skins promptly lost their next two games before rallying to win their last three.  Meanwhile, SP won four of its final five games, losing only to Windham by one in the mud.  Since snow is in the forecast, rowdy Riot fans could resort to throwing snowballs.  But nothing indicates the result should be any different from September.  PICK:  South Portland.

Puyallup 38, Rogers 7.  I know it's piling on, but after last week's debacle I was gonna pick the Vi-queens over the Rams anyway.  Besides, their namesakes in the NFL are comparatively about the same.  Puyallup moves on to the playoffs at 6-3, while Rogers bows out at 4-5.  Better luck next year, boys.

Where did THAT week go??

Busiest week of the year thus far.  Started with last weekend in "Err-Ray" (L.A.) and just didn't end.  Fell asleep TWICE during Game 7 last night.  Very quick wrap on Week #8, to be followed by hurry-up offense on Week #9, which already includes a crushing 38-28 defeat for the BYU Cougars at the hands of TCU's Horny Frogs.

#5 Boise State 37, Air Force 26.  Gotta admit, Falcons give Broncos all they can handle.  And what's this...both schools being courted by the Big East?  Someone give the commish an atlas, both are Rockie Mountainous.

Vanderbilt 44, Army 21.  True, the Vandy QB looks a lot like the Packers' Aaron Rogers, but only because it's Aaron's little brother Jordan.  The younger Rogers completes only 35% of his passes and is picked off twice.  But unlike big bro, this one can RUN, for 96 yds. and a TD on the day.  Five turnovers do not get you very far, especially when your opponent recovers three of them.

East Carolina 38, Navy 35.  Big 2nd quarter propels Pirates past Middies.  Beginning to see a pattern:  Navy can't get inside it's opponents' 40 yardline late in the game.  So they make poor Jon Teague kick from just outside his range.  Things usually go wrong for teams who depend on placekickers.

BYU 56, Idaho State 3.  Not worthy of reporting when time is short like it is this AM.  Really Cougs...Idaho State????  Is this what "Independent" means?

South Portland 20, Portland 7.  I'm wrong about my alma mater, which relies on its swarming defense to return two interceptions for TDs in the second half to capture T-H-E Bridge.

Graham-Kapowsin 52, Rogers 21.  Disgraceful!  Heartbreak begins early, as Eagles intercept QB Stefan van Horn on second play from scrimmage for TD.  Rams can't stop the run, and as a result their run to the playoffs is over.

I'm sure you'll all be tuning in to watch the Bethune-Cookman/Norfolk State game tonight.  Who cares about the World Series?  I'm headed to CTA State Council in "Err-Ray" for the weekend.  I'll have my laptop with me, but little time to watch CFB.  So all y'all tune in for me, OK?  Here's what I think I think for Week #8:

Union (3-4)--Idle.  Next week:  home vs. RPI.  Oh, I will have LOTS to say about THIS game...next week.

Air Force (3-3) at #5 Boise State (6-0).  The Thursday line is 39 points.  Any questions?  PICK:  Boise State.


Army (2-4) at Vanderbilt (3-3).  Two genuinely weak teams, Vandy was in the running for Worst Team in the Country.  Commodores haven't been any good since Jay Cutler played there, and Army hasn't been any good since Glenn Davis and Doc Blanchard.  Truth hurts, don't it?  Army can't throw the ball, so it has to run.  Vandy turns the ball over too many times, but it plays better-than-average run defense.  I'm thinkin' that the Commies win this battle by stopping Black Knights' one-dimensional offense and learn their lesson about turnovers by protecting the football and wearing out WooPoo defense.  PICK:  Vandy at home.

Navy (2-4) at home vs. East Carolina (2-4).  When Paul Johnson was still in Annapolis and Skip Holtz in Greenville, this would have been a terrific game.  Times have changed.  Navy has lost four straight, and ECU stopped a 2-game losing streak by beating up on a terrible Memphis team last week.  This will come down to whose defense is able to stay off the field the longest.  Navy runs the ball better, which means they're likely to spend more time on the field.  Home field advantage also will mean something.  PICK:  Navy (but I may regret this).

BYU (5-2) home vs. Idaho State (2-5).  Are you kidding?  The Bengals?  You call that an opponent?  They're only one step ahead of Northern Colorado in the Big Sky Conference!  They're no Wofford, that's for sure (wait 'til I have time to write revisionist history about where this blog eminated...).  Soft schedule won't hurt Cougars this week, as their opponent managed to score a total of only fifteen points in losses against Northern Arizona, Montana, and Weber State.  Meanwhile, BYU averaged over 31 points per game during the same stretch.  PICK:  BYU at home.

San Jose State (3-4)--Idle.  Next week:  at Louisiana Tech (where they'll bring back Terry Bradshaw to complete his sophomore year).


South Portland (5-2) at Portland (2-5).  Bulldogs are VERY young, but they've given the likes of Chevrus and Windham all they could handle.  I'm worried that our Riots are not taking Portland seriously.  Hey, what the hell ever happened to the Battle of the Bridge?  October??  This is the last game on the schedule.  School budget cuts must be keeping football seasons short.  PICK:  I'm goin' with Portland at T-H-E Stadium, mostly because of the front-page pic of their girls' field hockey team in this morning's Press Herald.

Rogers (4-3) at Graham-Kapowsin (3-4).  Teams' records vs. common opponents are almost identical, the one difference being GK's win over Curtis (as opposed to the Rams' loss).  Both teams give up A LOT of points, but Rogers averages 30 PPG to GK's 21.  Home field advantage is usually worth 3 points, and the Rams have the only chance to make the playoffs as a #4 seed.  PICK:  Rogers.

Smack Misses TWO One-Pointers, Nets +63 Points

Going to see Money Ball today, but first need to grade some papers and watch a little pro ball through my eyelids.  Yesterday watched very good Michigan-Michigan State and Clemson-Maryland games, and not-so-good LSU-Tennessee and Texas Ranger-Detroit Tiger games.  Fall is such a great season of the year, especially living in a climate where I don't have to rake leaves or shovel snow.  As I await an "impromptu" performance by James Taylor, Stevie Wonder, and Sheryl Crow at the Martin Luther King Jr. National Memorial Dedication, here's the rundown on Week #7's action.


Union 10, St. Lawrence 6.  Sounds more like a baseball score, as Dutchmen escape trip to Canton (not THAT Canton, the one that's home to SLU) with a victory.  Saints' RB Marcus Washington carries the ball 48 times, one shy of the school record, and scores the lone TD.  But PAT is a casualty of the driving rain, leaving the door open just enough for the Garnet.  A 4th-and-8 pass sails out of bounds, only to result in the gift of three more downs when officials call interference on Larries.  They're forced to turn to the pass with less than 4 minutes on the clock.  But Dutchman D intercepts on 2nd-and-goal and the clock can't be stopped.

Rutgers 21, Navy 20.  Middies have this one under control, scoring 17 unanswered points before Scarlet Knights' QB Gary Nova strikes for two TDs.  Last-second 34-yd. FG attempt by Navy K Jon Teague, who already had scored from 31 and 41 yds. is blocked, giving Rutgers its 4th straight W and sending the Goats to their 4th straight L.

BYU 38, Oregon State 28.  Memories of McMahon, Young, and Beck dance in Cougar fans' heads, as they appear to have yet another passing phenom in QB Riley Nelson.  "Nelly" (OK, nobody calls him that) throws for 217 yds. and 3 TDs.  But what sets him--and indeed the BYU offense--apart from past years is his ability to run the football, also emerging as this game's top rusher with 87 yds..  Despite nine penalties, Cougs convert 11-of-14 3rd downs.  Last-minute Beaver TD makes score look closer than game actually is.

#5 Boise State 63, Colorado State 13.  The line on Bronco QB Kellen Moore:  24-of-26, 273 yds., 2 TDs.  Those are his first half numbers.  Three different BSU runners pile up 322 yds. on the ground, and Moore tosses two more TDs in the second half.  "Three-and-out" is Broncs' mantra, as they stop State's offense on 3rd down eleven out of twelve times.  Boise goes to 6-0 with its tenacious D, prolific O..."Yeah, but are they for reals?"

San Jose State 28, Hawaii 27.  Shoulda picked U-Buffalo again...Six turnovers for each team?  A blocked extra point?  Another PAT returned for a TD?  Two QBs with 3 picks each?  Winning TD comes with :36 remaining on the clock?  "C'MON, MAAAAAN!!"

Windham 20, South Portland 19.  Scoreless for nearly three quarters, Eagles draw first blood then watch as Riots get the tie late in the 4th.  Takes three overtimes before Windham thwarts SP's bold 2-point conversion attempt to escape with win at home.

Week #7 Already In Progress??

It's Friday, I just cracked my first brew, and I'm off and running.  Week's highlights included having dinner two nights ago with Sal Shapiro, one of my Sigma Chi brothers from Union, who I will be joining in three weeks in St. Augustine for our 4th Annual Golf Outing for charity.  Sal burned me a great ribeye and sent me home with two pies and most of a 20-lb. bag of potatoes.  I returned the favor by sending him to one of the valley's best Mexican restaurants on his final night in town.  None of this has anything whatsoever to do with college football, so...here's the skinny on Week #7:

Union (2-4) at St. Lawrence (2-3).  Common opponent, Hobart, held Larries scoreless while the Dutchmen pounded out 24 points just one week later.  Saints haven't run into a passing juggernaut like UColl's Drew Connolly, who has a 60% completion average and 264 yds./game in the air.  Meanwhile, St. Lawrence averages less than 4 yds./carry and 131 yds. passing/game.  Long way for Dutchmen to travel to beat up an opponent.  PICK:  Union.

Air Force (now 3-3) already 41-27 losers to San Diego State last evening.  SAN DIEGO STATE????  Don't the Falcons know that the Aztecs are high all the time?  This should have been a cakewalk for "The Academy".  I didn't even know they were playing Thursday night; too busy watching USC beat up on a very bad Cal-Berserkley team.  Next up:  at Boise State on 10/22.  At least now I know why BYU left the MWC!

Army (2-4).(Idle).   Next up:  at Vanderbilt on 10/22.  Vandy...the OTHER worst team in the country.  Heal up, proud old Army Team...could be a trip to a Grand Ol' Victory in Nashville next week.

Navy (2-3) at Rutgers (4-1).  THE State University of New Jersey, yet I refuse to haul out my very tasteless and rude joke about the state vegetable.  Last week vs. Southern Miss, the Middies proved they could run...but couldn't stop much of anything.  The heart and sole of the Scarlet Knights is their defense, which ironically is weakest against the run which everyone know the Middies do best.  Difference should be whether or not Rutgers can put the ball in the end zone.  If the Southern Miss experience tells anything, that may not be much of a problem.  PICK:  Rutgers.

BYU (4-2) at Oregon State (1-4).  As much as I'm already not liking BYU for going independent, how can you expect them to lose to a team that has already lost to Sacramento State??  Beavers have only one credible running back in Jovan Stevenson, and he left last week's win vs. Arizona (which subsequently asked its coach to clean out his office) with an injury.  The good news for the home team is that BYU isn't the scoring machine it has been throughout its history.  Their more potent offensive weapon is the run, which is what OSU defends best.  PICK:  Oregon State, especially if Stevenson plays.

#5 Boise State (5-0) at Colorado State (3-2).  Trying not to drool over next week's scheduled aviancide of Falcons, the newest member of the Mountain West Conference must first dispense with CSU.  Shouldn't be tough, as the Rams have already lost to San Jose State (see below).  In their last three games, Colorado State has given up an average of over 33 points a game, while the Broncos have averaged over 40 PPG all season.  PICK:  Broncos by a knockout in the first.  Kellen Moore for President (which will make him the sixth GOP frontrunner since July.)

San Jose State (2-4) vs. Hawaii (4-2).  At one point this season, SJSU had the longest losing streak in the country, until they beat New Mexico State and Colorado State on consecutive weekends.  But that was the first time in three decades, making it an absolute FLUKE!  So like Columbia, Central Florida, Duke, U-Buffalo, and Temple before them, we shall follow the fortunes of what just might be the worst FBS (that's Football Bowl Subdivision, for the unenlightened) team around.  This week the Spartans take on the Rainbow Warriors who sport yet another in a long line of hotshot QBs in Bryant Moniz, who can both run AND pass.  Spartans are the nation's best in getting tackled for loss and sacks against.  PICK:  'Bows, without question.

South Portland (5-1) at Windham (3-3).  Game originally scheduled for tonight was rescheduled for tomorrow noon due to rain.  RAIN?  Excuse me?  What has happened to this world?  Ask Ditka.  Ask Butkus.  Ask Nitschke.  Ask Karras.  We don't play football in the rain?  Jeez...Did find a bunch more season results than I reported last week!  Riots lost opener to Cheverus but have rolled to five straight wins, while Eagles dropped first three but have rallied to win three straight.  Wow, talk about mixed loyalties...all those summers spent at Little Sebago before Windham went all big-time.  As for the game, Riots have a swell offense but allow too many points on defense.  Eagles have a swell defense but don't score consistently.  Game is in Windham, but in this my 40th year after graduation, I will let my heart overrule my head.  PICK:  South Portland.

Federal Way 49, Rogers 17.  Ouch.  Obviously, it was all Eagles, especially on the ground.  Chico McClatcher, a freshman, scampered for 144 yds. and one score, while junior Rod Jones had fewer yards but four TDs.  FW only needs to beat hapless Spanaway to win its league next week.  There was no word about how Rogers even scored its 17 points.  Five field goals and a safety?

Summit Volleyball: The Mountain Lion boys and girls both notched victories yesterday during 3rd period vs. Amistad continuation (I think).  Local papers tend not to carry results for continuation schools, and I'm busy teaching during 3rd period so what do I know?

Week #...whatever

While the rest of the civilized world was watching the 12th Annual National Wife-Carrying Championships from Sunday River Ski Resort (in Maine, where else?), college football marched on.  From Schenectady, NY to Provo, UT, teams were left unprepared for the debut of "The Smack".  Bad decision.  Have decided to start "Occupy Armchair" movement, beginning Thursday nights and not ending until the following Monday night, for the rest of the year.

While I watch yet another funny eTrade ad, here's the smack.  Hope you guys know what you've done to me by talking me out of retirement.

Hobart 41, Union 24.  Normally, 16 of 24 for 3 TDs would show up in the box score on the winning side.  Not when your O-line gives up 8 sacks.  Frank Bailey Field turns into a shooting gallery, as Statesmen show they're still class of the Liberty League.  Hate when I hear my inner Red Sawk saying, "Wait 'til next year" and it's only early October.

Notre Dame 42, Air Force 24.  Wait...I mean Notre Dame 59, Air Force 33.  Apparently I stopped watching before the game was over.  Where has this Irish team been hiding up to now...West Lafayette?  Can't wait 'til they play USC!  To paraphrase John Hay, Falcons have a "spendid little team", and they'll probably win the CIC Trophy now that they've squeaked by Navy.  Better luck next week with San Diego State.

Miami-OH 35, Army 28.  The fact that I picked the Black Knights to win, without so much as a second look, shows what being out of the loop for four years has done to me.  Also, forgot that Ohio is the "cradle of football coaches" (see Hayes, Schembechler, Shula, the Stoops brothers, etc.).  Wait...Gerry Faust was from Ohio, too.  Well anyway...  See-saw struggle, the win ends up going to the team which has the ball last.  Tough break having your final drive end on downs at your opponent's 13 yardline.

Southern Miss 63, Navy 35.  2011 version of the "Triple Option" = can't stop the run, can't stop the pass, and can't convert on 4th downs.  Hey Middies, how's that workin' for ya?  OK, to be fair, Navy's best rusher was suspended earlier in the week for violating team rules.  But their offense wasn't the problem, matching or exceeding the Golden Eagles yard for yard.  Navy D just couldn't stop Southern Miss from scoring.

BYU 29, San Jose State 16.  Somebody please explain to me why the Cougs left the Mountain West Conference.  Besides SJS, they now have Central Florida, Idaho, Idaho State, and New Mexico State on their sched this year.  Afraid of Air Force?  Permanent exile to the New Orleans Bowl...

Can't forget the high schools...

South Portland 42, Sanford 34.  In a week that saw Cheverus beat Biddeford 56-0 (??!!), Riots are 2-1 after Friday night home victory over the Redskins.  And wow, Steve Stinson is STILL the coach!  Sort of like life in Maine itself; the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Rogers 45, Spanaway Lake 13.  Rams go to 4-2 and set up a showdown with Federal Way (5-1), with obvious playoff implications.  The rest of the game highlights remain a closely guarded secret in metro Puyallup.

Chaparral 28, Indio 10.  I don't teach there anymore.  Ovidio Machado doesn't coach there anymore (replaced twice in the last four years).  Team now being coached by George Thomas, former defensive back for the Atlanta Falcons.  Rajahs suck as bad as Thomas' Falcons did back in the day.  But he's a nice guy, and he likes to talk coaching with me.  Meanwhile, At Summit Continuation where I now hang my shingle, our boys volleyball team won a close 5-setter vs. Mt. San Jacinto Continuation HS last Wednesday...during 3rd period.  New educational mantra:  "Welcome to continuation high school!"

Welcome to the Smack!

OK, youse guys has been buggin' me long enuff...so here ya go.  An actual, real-life blog about what we all love:  college football.


Too late for predicting the games for the week beginning Thu. 10/6.  In fact, I was just listening to the live audio stream of the Union-Hobart debacle (turning ugly, Statesmen up 34-17 in the 3rd).

But quickly...

• Air Force to nip Notre Dame at the buzzer.
• Army beats up Miami OH.
• Navy thumped by Southern Miss.
• BYU takes San Jose State.

Maybe I'll have a few choice comments for you tomorrow in the form of a post mortem.  Meanwhile, hopefully your spirits will have been lifted by my return.