Keeping Football In Mind While Watching the Ryder Cup

Imagine...a college QB throws for 566 yds. and five touchdowns, sets a conference record in the process, leads his team to an upset victory, and his isn't even the best performance of the weekend.  That distinction belongs to Miami's Steven Morris, who nevertheless was outdone by West Virginia's Geno Smith.  Smith throws for 656 yds. and eight TDs, as the #9 Mountaineers and the #25 Baylor Bears score 133 combined points and 1,507 combined yards of offense.  Also, Smith is a mere 45-of-51 (88%).

Elsewhere, here come the Texas Longhorns, a 41-36 winner over Oke State.  Uggah and his Georgia Bulldogs hold off a tough Tennessee Vowel team, Clemson outshoots Boston College, and THE Ohio State University hangs on against Michigan State.  Oh, and Free Shoes U topples a tough USF Bull team to put the pressure on 'Bama, Oregon, and LSU at the top of the rankings.

But really...who cares about all those guys when you have the likes of the following to watch every week (except when the service academies each take one of the first three weeks off)?

Union 49, Springfield 21.  Oh ye (me) of so little faith.  Dutchmen force EIGHT fumbles (recovering six) and intercept Pride QB Jonathan Marrera once to "welcome" Springfield to the Liberty League.  QB Conner Eck throws three TDs and RB Tim Hersey rushes for two others.  Certainly Garnet would like a couple of those early season losses back, as they tie perennial power Hobart for LL lead and signal their intent to challenge for the conference title.

Air Force 42, Colorado State 21.  Falcons retain the commemorative "Titanium Transcript" trophy by shellacking the Rams in C-Springs.  RB Cody Getz (25 carries, 222 yards) becomes first player in Wind Farce history to run for 100+ yards in the first four games of the season.  QB Conner Dietz needs only 57 yds. through the air to rack up two TDs, and The Academy's defense intercepts M. J. McPeek twice.  Just the kind of dominating performance Air Force needs heading into next week's matchup with Navy.

Stony Brook 23, Army 3.  One of my late picks that didn't publish with rest of the blog.  Give me credit for sensing Army's continued futility (eight straight losses since last season), even against the likes of Stony Brook.  Senior Miguel Maysonet runs for 220 yards and two TDs, as The Brook becomes the tenth FCS team to defeat a FBS team this season. Army's nation's best rushing offense coughs up the football four times and is held to just 273 yards.  Like Tony Dorsett who suddenly became Dor-SETT once he got famous, the Seawolves used to be called "Stonybrook".  Maybe those Ohio State-wannabee unis gives them right of separation. Or maybe it's their 19-4 record since joining the Big South.  Doesn't change the fact that Army has to play Boston College next week.

San Jose State 12, Navy 0.  The good news:  Navy's defense doesn't give up a touchdown.  The bad news:  Navy's offense doesn't score any points at all.  What's wrong with the vaunted Navy ground game?  Only 144 yds. of TOTAL offense for the Mids, nearly half of which comes from QB Trey Miller.  At least there'll be no pining for former coach Paul Johnson, who's Georgia Tech Yellowjackets lose to Middle Tennessee State.  Here's more bad news:  Navy plays Air Force next week.  On the road.  Anyone up for stealing a goat??

BYU 47, Hawaii. 0.  OK, OK, I was out stuffing the gut at Red Robin on Thursday and missed kickoff.  Looks like I didn't miss much of a game.  Still stinging from back-to-back losses after getting off to a screaming start, Cougs dismantle Hawaii behind freshman QB Taysom Hill.  The rookie throws for two TDs and runs for another, making everyone forget Riley Nelson, who was injured in last week's loss to Utah.  Jamaal Williams and Paul Lasike each rush for two TDs, while the 'Bows come out absolutely deflated from a 69-24 hammering at the hands of Nevada.  BYU gets a bit of a breather next week when it takes on Utah State.

#24 Boise State 32, New Mexico 29.  A tale of two halves, as Boise State dominates the first and New Mexico's opportunistic defense allows them to win the second.  Don't blame QB Joe Southwick, who has another Kellen Moore-like afternoon with over 300 yds. passing and three TDs.  After a missed field goal attempt gives the ball back to the Lobos with 3:44 left in the game, Bronco defense wakes up and forces a fumble, whereupon offense takes a knee to run out the clock.  Sure enough, a close loss to a hopeless underdog costs Boise, as they fall out of the Top 25 LSU-style for failing to win convincingly.  A soft schedule the rest of the way may not help BSU climb back into the rankings, but they'll be invited to go bowling somewhere.

South Portland 35, Massabesic 34.  Alas, no story in the Press Herald/Sunday Telegram.  Maybe Steve Stinson didn't have anything pithy to say after Riots' first victory of the season.  Massabesic is in Waterboro, which didn't have a population large enough to support a high school let alone field a football team when I was a youngster.  Native American name means "place of great water", which it must have been after its team loses tearjerker to previously winless South Portland.  OK, that's all I got.  Which is better than...

Rogers ?????  Last week only a score, this week nary a mention in the Tacoma area newspapers.  Oh, except that it appears another game is played in Puyallup this weekend, and it involves Emerald Ridge, not Rogers or Puyallup.  Maybe you'll find it of interest that ER upset Bethel 52-35.  Otherwise, I got nuthin'.

Homer (Don't Call Me "Homecoming") Weekend Hits College FB

All our heroes play at home this week.  All play against opponents with better (and winning) records.  Well, all except Air Force that is, who face a surprisingly mediocre Colorado State team in the annual Chris Haskell Bowl.  Hurrying to get these picks out the door before I take my walk...

Union (1-3) vs. Springfield (3-1).  Longtime football rivals, this year's meeting is the first time schools face each other as conference foes.  Springfield has already beaten Rochester in its Liberty League debut, while Union makes its inaugural conference foray.  Pride always play Dutchmen tough, and so far this season have featured outstanding defense, the one exception being a close W over Mt. Ida in a shootout two weeks ago.  Even at home, this may be too tall a hill to climb for Garnet.  PICK:  Springfield.

Air Force (1-2) vs. Colorado State (1-3).  Rams hold their own on defense but can't muster yards or points on offense.  They'll be hard-pressed to stop the Falcon running game.  Should be a lot of 3-and-outs, with The Academy keeping its offense on the field in between.  PICK:  Air Force.

Army (0-3) vs. Stony Brook (3-1). 

Navy (1-2) vs. San Jose State (3-1).  San Diego State exposed the Spartans inability to stop the run, and we all know how much Navy loves to run the football.  Game will come down to whether or not Middies pass defense can stop the high-power SJS pass offense, which has record

#13 USC (3-1).  Idle.  Next week:  at Utah.

New Mexico (2-2) vs. #24 Boise State (2-1). 

UNION WINS! UNION WINS!

Getting ready for today's full slate of NFL games, including the crucial late game between my Pats and them Ravens.  Yesterday was full of great college football, beginning with an inaugural 2012 win by my UColl Dutchmen.  The celebration was in full swing, as evidenced below.  Some conclusions:  Florida State really is as good as the preseason polls indicated; Notre Dame may be better; LSU is boring; and UCLA is still the second-best team in Los Angeles (and its fans are just as excited about their chances as they are about the basketball team).  But here's what really matters:

Garnet fan rejoices team's 31-20 win.

 

 

 

Union 31, St. Lawrence 20.  QB Conner Eck hits WR Kyle Reynolds for 3 TDs, and Garnet secondary intercepts Saint QB Zane Fish three times.  Two St. Lawrence freshmen RBs, Maurice Irby and Miles Crump, rush for touchdowns, and sophomore QB Danny Metzgar replaces Fish to complete 8-of-10 passes, showing that this is just not Saints' year...but next year could be.  And just now I remember...I haven't reminded you yet this year that UColl head coach John Audino (Notre Dame '75) was Marty White's position coach at Penn!

UNLV 38, Air Force 35.  Rebel defense plays inspired when it has to, stops Falcons on a crucial 4th-and-1 and then later forces a fumble to turn a first half deficit into a stunning win.  Two second half scores leave Air Force without sufficient time to mount a successful closing drive.  UNLV ends two skids, the 8-game regular season as well as the 5-game vs. Air Force.  Naturally, The Academy hopes their bad fortunes stay in Vegas.

Wake Forest 49, Army 37.  140 yds. rushing from RB Raymond Maples and 3 TDs by QB Trent Steelman isn't enough for the Black Knights.  But Josh Harris and Deandre Martin became the first two Decons both to rush for over 100 yds. since 2005.  Still a 5-point game until 2:50 remaining, when Martin runs for 37 yards and Wake seals the victory.

Navy 41, VMI 3.  "Keyettes" draw first blood with a field goal, then become spectators, as Middies run up over 500 yds. of total offense and establish the difference between a real service academy and a wannabe.  Despite losing two fumbles, Navy intercepts QB Eric Kordenbrock twice, returning one for a score.  VMI wins the time of possession battle yet can't punch it into the endzone.  They look forward to the return trip home, where they next meet the Presbyterian Blue Hose.  I'm not making that up.

USC 27, Cal-Berkeley 9.  Silas Redd and Matt Barkley stop looking at their press clippings and decide to show up.  The results send the Golden Bears home with a loss.  Redd rushes for 155 yds. and two TDs, while Barkley throws for 192 yds. and two more.  Trojan offensive line comes to life and prevents Barkley from being sacked.  That makes it possible for WR Marqise (without the "u") Lee to once again be a two-time TD hero.  USC defense gets to Cal QB Zach Maynard seven times, the secondary intercepts him twice, and the unit as a whole allows only 77 yds. rushing on the day.  Suppose the Lane Kiffin weekly presser will be more cordial this week?

New Mexico 27, New Mexico State 14.  Lobos find their offense, as RB Kasey Carrier rushes for 129 yds. and one TD and Jhurell Pressley added 71 yds. and two more TDs.  UNM ends nation's longest streak of 24-straight road game losses.  Aggie QB Andrew Manley is 22-34 for 256 yds. but can't position State inside the red zone all day.  Too late to pick Army as the nation's doormat?

Kennebunk 40, South Portland 6.  Kennebunk??  Must be all the money pumped into the program by the Bush family.  Riots give up three Ram TDs from inside the 5-yardline...in the FIRST HALF.  RB Joey DiBiase is the only bright spot for SP, taking a handoff and running 5 yards for a score.  Red & white miss the extra point, and Steve Stinson holds shorter postgame presser than Lane Kiffin.  C'mon, Steve...not even one "They were who we thought they were" or "PLAYOFFS????".

Rogers 21, Spanaway Lake 14.  Two Rams' interceptions lead to touchdowns.  Otherwise, newspaper coverage of high school sports in Washington sucks.  Kids (and alums) deserve better.

Conference Games Dominate the Sched

Heading out to breakfast with my bride, yet taking the time (plus three cups of coffee) to complete a preview of Week #4 in college football.  Hopefully, you all saw the early post on Thursday, when Boise State squeaked out a win over BYU.  Game shouldn't have been close, as the Broncos forced turnovers and had the Cougars against the wall.  Impressive stops by BYU and then a heartbreaking failed 2-point attempt to win the game late.  Mountain West is a fun conference!

OK, place your bets.  You can take every one of these to the bank.  Preferably, my bank.

Union (0-3) at St. Lawrence (0-3).  Two teams with unblemished records--love that!  Both played Utica badly; OK, Union scored more points, but it was late in the game.  Saints' QB Zane Fish was picked off four times last week against Alfred.  I've always been of the opinion that losing to a school with a name like Alfred is humiliating enough.  Throw on top of that the fact that St. Lawrence has been outscored 88-21 in its first three games.  PICK:  Union on the road.

Air Force (1-1) at UNLV (0-3).  Whenever Air Force or BYU travel to Vegas, I always imagine the visiting players wandering the Strip, gambling away their money, being targeted in the front row of a comedy show, or bedazzled by some show girls.  Funny thing is, it never seems to happen.  Or if it does, we never hear of it, nor do we see much evidence.  Afraid the Rebs just aren't very good--again.  They've dropped eight in a row at home and sixteen on the road.  On the other hand, they do have QB Nick Sherry, who can put up big numbers through the air, and their defense is allowing thirteen PPG fewer than last year.  The Academy had trouble slowing down Michigan's Denard Robinson, both through the air and on the ground.  I think the #1 rushing offense in the country will keep Sherry & Co. off the field.  PICK:  Air Force.

Army (0-2) at Wake Forect (2-1).  Remains to be seen how much the Deacons have left in the tank after being demonized 52-0 by Free Shoes U last week.  Also, will heartbreaking 1-point loss to Northern Illinois be a stimulant or a depressant?  Neither team has won on the road this year, so advantage to Wake.  In fact, Army has lost nine straight road games and lost decisively the last time these two teams met.  Wake's problem is stopping the opponent's offense, and the Black Knights come into the game ranked #2 (behind Air Force) in the country in rushing.  If Army's secondary can contain QB Tanner Price, who can throw the long ball, they have a shot.  I'll take that bait.  PICK:  Army in the upset.

Navy (0-2) vs. VMI (1-2).  Middies are off to their worst start in years.  The problem is the defense.  Statistically, Navy has come up short in every category, even rushing, versus their opponents.  On the other hand, their opponents have been Notre Dame and Penn State.  The Keydets have been tough against the run, holding their opponents to 122 yds. per game.  Their special teams play at a level above the rest of the squad, so if it's close kickoffs and punts will be crucial.  It may be close, but not close enough for a fourt-straight loss.  PICK:  Navy in a close one.

(#13) USC (2-1) vs. Cal-Berkeley (1-2).  Trojans return to the Coliseum with a "wait 'til next year" attitude.  Did you hear the buzz this past week, about coach Lane Kiffin's dismissal of the media after a 27-second news conference?  Punk.  Meanwhile, Cal coach Jeff Tedford is smart enough to remind his players that they went on the road last week and performed remarkably well against THE Ohio State Buckeyes, rejuvenated under Urban Meyer.  QB Matt Barkley has nothing left to play for, his abysmal showing last week taking him out of the running for the Heisman Trophy.  OK, back to reality.  Cal plays mediocre defense, and USC has the most offensive weapons of any team in the country.  The key will be whether or not the Trojan defense plays as well against da Bearsssss as the Stanford defense played against them.  And then there's the Coliseum.  PICK:  USC.

New Mexico (1-2) at New Mexico State (1-2).  History is not on Lobo coach Bob Davie's side.  The last time a UNM coach won his opener against State, Ronald Reagan was president.  New Mexico has two running backs, neither of whom is averaging over 60 yds. per game on the ground.  Aggies have a legitimate passing attack, led by QB Andrew Manley, who has thrown for three TDs in two games this season so far.  Since game is in Las Cruces, and since I think Las Cruces is a pretty swell place, I'm siding with history.  PICK:  New Mexico State.

Going On The Quick Count

Kickoff is in less than an hour, so I must run the no-huddle offense and run a play.  No audibles allowed in The Smack.

#24 Boise State vs. BYU.  Each squad knows the feeling of being ranked in the Top 25 only to have a spoiler drop them back out again.  Two appealing young QBs--the Broncos' Joe Southwick and the Cougars' Riley Nelson--are both capable of driving their teams down the field.  Interesting stats of the week:  Boise is one of only four teams that have not allowed a sack of their QB (Air Force is one of the others), while BYU has held nine consecutive opponents under 300 yds. of total offense.  BSU has the home field advantage, and Southwick looks like he's hitting his stride.  PICK:  Boise State.

Ho-hum Schedule Morphs Into Meaningful Weekend

Four of the nation's Top 25 teams lose, although two (USC and Michigan State) admittedly lose to other Top 25-ers.  And the USC loss shouldn't really come as a surprise, since Stanford now has beaten them four straight years.  Time for new UCLA coach Jim Mora, Jr. to proclaim Bruins to be the best team in L. A.  In a week where our local restaurants begin offering their annual "Sampler" to offset the enormous budget deficits in our school district (like that's gonna leave a mark...), here's the scoop on Week #3.

Ithaca 27, Union 24 (OT).  Heartbreak.  Dutchmen lead 21-7 with less than three minutes left in the game.  Suddenly Bomber QB Phil Neumann throws two TD passes within 70 seconds of each other, forcing overtime.  Negates super-human Garnet defensive effort during the fourth quarter that includes stopping Ithaca four straight plays from the Union 7 yard line.  Overtime is always risky, especially on the road.  Pass interference penalty logged by Union when Ithaca has 3rd-and-5 from the 20 in overtime.   UColl QB Connor Eck gets his team to the ONE and has first-and-goal but can't convert, forcing Union to kick the field goal.  Neumann then throws a 4-yarder to WR Joseph Ingrao...game over.  Thank goodness, non-conference schedule is over and this week's performance gives us Union Faithful hope that, even as a trip to the Stagg Bowl is out of the question, a Liberty League championship is within reach.

Northern Illinois 41, Army 40.  A good time is had by all.  Well, until the final drive of the game, after which the Black Knights and their fans leave with a fifth straight home opening loss,  Both teams put on an offensive show, the hosts with three 100-yard rushers and the visitors QB Jordan Lynch living up to pre-game hype with four TDs including the game winner.  The latter is redemption for a 3rd quarter fumble on the Army 4 which the Cadets convert into a score.  Although Army holds a 25-minute advantage in time of possession, they're outgained through the air 342-8.  Good thing they won't have to worry about Navy this year.

Penn State 34, Navy 7.  Inspired performances give new head coach Bill O'Brien his first victory in Not-so-Happy Valley.  And now that Silas Redd has taken his talents to Los Angeles (more about that later), the Nittany Lions have found a passing game.  QB Matt McGloin throws four TD passes, while Navy's Trey Miller can muster only 17 yds. passing and 18 yds. rushing.  PSU defense doesn't exactly shut down the Middies' running game, allowing 371 yds. on the ground.  But what matters most is they only let Navy into the endzone once.

Utah 24, #25 BYU 21.  Fighting for their BCS lives all day, Cougars have two late chances for game-tying field goal when Ute fans storm the field TWICE before time expires, costing their team 15 penalty yards and giving PK Justin Sorensen.  BYU lives up to its reputation as the better team on paper, dominating every offensive category.  But a lost fumble translates into a Utah score, and one of the final two field goal attempts is blocked.  Utes' QB Jon Hays keeps pace with BYU's Riley Nelson, logging only ten fewer yards and matching his two TD passes.  This makes exactly nobody forget Steve Young.

# 21Stanford 21, #2 USC 14.  My mother-in-law Denise arrives early for onion dip and the pregame show, eats spaghetti and meatballs, then leaves before the end of the 3rd quarter with score tied.  Hopefully, she was fast asleep and misses the final USC "drive" which crosses midfield only to be thrown back to the original line of scrimmage.  Remember Silas Redd?  Yuh, ummmm 13 carries, 17 yards.  That's lower than Robert Hoover's GPA (1.6;  never mind, it was only an Animal House reference).  Cardinal defense is in QB Matt Barkley's grill all night, leading to forced throws, broken patterns, and 20-of-41 completions. Worse yet, Barkley registers minus-41 yards on 6 rushes, reflecting the anemic running game which piles up a whopping 26 yards total.   Student section sports a sign saying, "LUCK had nothing to do with it."  On this morning's ESPN Sports Reporters, New York Times contributor Bill Rhoden piles on by referring to Stanford players as "working on meaningful degrees".

Texas Tech 49, New Mexico 14.  Finally New Mexico is showing why it's considered to be so bad.  Game is only close before kickoff, and after the 2nd quarter begins Tech never leads by less than 7 points.  Red Raider QB Seth Loege throws for 340 yards and SIX touchdowns.  Final tally in total yards:  Texas Tech 702, New Mexico 127.  100 of those Lobo yards result from a 2-yard touchdown run and a 98-yard kickoff return.  Other than that, exactly nobody plays well.  Welcome back to reality, Bob Davie.  There goes that automatic birth in the Holiday Bowl.

Cheverus 42, South Portland "ZEE-ro."  Two first-half fumble recoveries provide the only bright moments for the Riots, as they basically stand still watching Stags rumble to their 27th consecutive victory.  Riot football faithful are upset as a Cheverus player by the name of "Fitzpatrick" intercepts QB Thomas Leddy in the first stanza.  Fitzpatrick is a two-way player (QB and DB) and has the good sense to hand the ball to his running backs for 324 yards, led by Donald Goodrich who runs 21 times for 215 yards.  OK, you've been waiting for it...the Steve Stinson "Wise Words of the Week":  "We were able to get two turnovers off them for a plus-2 advantage."  Of course, when pressed, reluctantly adds that the Riots gave that advantage right back on the next two series.  Just shut up, Steve.  Put more time into getting your players to do the talking on the field.  The chant, "EIGHT MORE YEARS, EIGHT MORE YEARS!" is heard from no one...EVER.

Rogers 28, Emerald Ridge 17.  Jaguars race to an early 10-0 lead, then fumble five times, the last of which leads to and Ram winning TD by Andrew Nelson.  Key play in the game comes when Em Ridge speedster Ashanti Kindle has ball punched free as he approaches the goal line on a 38-yard run.  Credit to Ram DB Damian Jackson, who denies Jaguar 10-point advantage while giving the ball to Rogers on their own one yard line.  (P. S.  I try hard to make an electronic reading device joke out of the name "Kindle" but am still in shock over Steve Stinson's quotability.)

But seriously, folks...who can top the performance of Aloha (OR) High School RB Thomas Tyner, who rushes 38 times for--get this--644 yards and 10 TDs?  Unbelievably, the yardage total is "only" the THIRD largest in history.  So, TT, what'll you do for an encore...pass your state's high school exit exam?

A Week For the Meek

Week #3 features only one contest that should be worth watching, and that's USC-Stanford.  While there's been much made of how the Trojans could start the season ranked #1 and then lose that spot without losing on the field, the truth is that polls are meaningless at this time of year.  They probably shouldn't even be published for another month.

D-III continues to be exciting as usual, with players who compete for the love of the game, not scholarships, bowls, or rewards from boosters.  The service academies somehow arranged their early season schedules so that each would have a bye week in September.

Finding it tough to get too excited at this point, but here's what's what for Saturday 9/15:

Union (0-2) at Ithaca (1-0).  Still smarting from the shellacking taken at the hands of Utica last week, the Dutchmen hit the road to face the perennial D-III powerhouse Ithaca College.  The Bombers play good old fashioned smashmouth football and have capable junior QB Phil Newmann to keep defensive secondaries honest.  Union's defense hasn't been able to keep opponents offenses off the field, and this week should prove no different.  PICK:  Ithaca.

Air Force (1-1) idle.  Next week:  at UNLV. 

Army (0-1) vs. Northern Illinois (1-1).  Reigning MAC champs, the Huskies nearly upset Iowa two weeks ago.  QB Jordan Lynch is a threat when he throws as well as when he runs.  Black Knight defense appears weak, so NIU may make it five straight years without an Army home opening win.  PICK:  Northern Illinois.

Navy (0-1) at Penn State (0-2).  Neither team has distinguished itself thus far.  A week off for the Middies may not help, with State returning home after holding a lead over a solid Virginia squad into the fourth quarter of their match last week.  If Navy can run the ball, they'll win.  But the bet is they won't, and home field advantage should hand new coach Bill O'Brien his first win.  PICK:  Penn State.

#25 BYU (2-0) at Utah (1-1).  In recent years this has been a battle, with the Utes often favored to win.  But this year BYU is off to the fast start, and with Utah QB Jordan Wynn having decided to call it a career with debilitating injuries, this one shouldn't be close.  PICK:  BYU.

#2 USC (2-0) vs. #21 Stanford (2-0).  Andrew Luck is gone, and with him any hope that Stanford will pull off the upset, even at home.  Duke showed the Cardinal pass defense vulnerable in giving up 363 yds. of passing offense last week despite what turned out to be a lopsided final score.  Imagine what Matt Barkley and Company will do tomorrow.  PICK:  USC.

New Mexico (1-1) at Texas Tech (2-0).  The Mike Leach Era in Lubbock is long gone, and now Tommy Tuberville brings his brains to town.  Red Raider defense is vastly improved, which is not good news for the Lobos, who are looking more like the bad team I thought they were a couple of weeks ago.  PICK:  Texas Tech.

South Portland (0-2) at Cheverus (2-0).  Eight years of Steve Stinson and the Riots just don't seem to be getting a whole lot better.  Meanwhile, the Stags are looking like an early contender for Class A honors, and they have SP at home.  PICK:  Cheverus.

Rogers (1-1) vs. Emerald Ridge (0-2). The papers say...well, very little, actually.  But Em Ridge is referred to as "tough".  Not buyin' it.  PICK:  Rogers at home.

Hurry-up Offense Throws Smack For Loss

Obviously, I don't know the play book for this season yet, as half of my picks go south.  Meanwhile, poor Savannah State, giving up 139 points in two weeks...and that's with yesterday's game against Free Shoes U called before the end of three due to hazardous weather conditions.  Arizona catches Oke State resting on their laurels and hangs 59 points on the 'Boys.  All you Miami haters out there must've loved seeing the 'Canes get spanked by K-State.  And Urban Meyer shows he's still got it, as the Buckeyes paste a decent Central Florida squad.

OK, no more delays...this week I stank--

Utica 45, Union 17.  Pioneers demonstrate that bad beer isn't the only thing for which the city of Utica is renowned.  Although Garnet QB Connor Eck is outdistanced by only 36 yards in passing by counterpart Andrew Beckwitt, the latter connects for five TD passes compared to only one by Eck.  Union plays a nice, solid game on offense but cannot defend against the pass.  Not helping are the seven penalties, throwing the Dutchmen for 121 lost yards.

#17 Michigan 31, Air Force 25.  Though not the upset predicted, Falcons give Wolverines all they can handle in Ann Arbor.  UM QB Denard Robinson redeems himself for a sub-par opener vs. Alabama by rushing and passing for over 200 yards each.  Late 4th quarter opportunity to tie or go ahead squandered by "The Academy" when they put themselves in a 4th-and-16 hole and can't convert.  Dietz and Getz are the stars once again for Air Force, which has a bye week ahead.

San Diego State 42, Army 7.  Somebody said the Cadets had a legitimate chance to win the Commander In Chief's Trophy this year, and I get blinded by the light.  After all, San Diego IS a party town, so I never expect the Aztecs to be very good.  Once again, a balanced offense plus good special teams play on both sides of the ball help SDSU avenge last year's loss.  Defense forces two Trent Steelman interceptions, and Black Knights are held a full 75 yards under last season's rushing average.

#25 BYU 45,  Weber State 13.  Cougars break into Top 25 against Wildcats .  QB Riley Nelson throws for a TD and is picked off once before vacationing in the 2nd half, yielding to James Lark for a score of his own.  Those players are joined by eight others to log 225 yds. of rushing to complement the air show.  WSU's Mike Hoke is sacked six times for -38 yds. and fumbles once, reinforcing notion that BYU can play swarming defense.  Of course, this is FCS competition, but good football is good football.

#2 USC 42, Syracuse 29.  Not nearly as close as it seems.  The 'Cuse is apparently trying to market itself as "New York's College Team" by playing the game at MetLife Stadium.  The combination of QB Matt Barkley to WR Marqis (without the "u") Lee proves potent once again.  Lee appears to be the real deal, though perhaps two games against mediocre competition makes it tough to tell whether he'll have a bust in the HOF like Lynn Swann or be a bust like Mike Williams.  Something I wonder during the game...which Trojan tailback saw his future change when Silas Redd (15 carries, 107 yds.) transferred from Penn State?

#15 Texas 45, New Mexico 0.  Not nearly as close as it seems.  It's now apparent that the Lobos' problem against real competition is that they can't move the ball on offense.  Texas, however, does not have that problem.  Picked by some as the "Longhorn Longshot" to play for the BCS championship, two QBs and two RBs roll up nearly 500 yds. of total offense.  Oh, so I guess that means UNM can't play defense either.  Can't explain last week's big W, except that it came against Southern.

Biddeford 23, South Portland 7.  Tigers' first win in two years.  Coach Steve Stinson finds no teachable moments, stays silent after the game.  All the good quotes come from Biddeford coach Scott Descoteaux, who just sounds as if he's 16 to me.  Three times in the first half alone the Riots are in the red zone and have passes broken up by the BHS secondary.  An onside kick to open the second half leads to another Tiger score, and SPHS just can't get it going.  Next week's opponent:  Cheverus, which is 85-6 against opponents in its first two games.  Uh-oh...

Rogers 27, Beamer 6.  Two second-half TDs by QB Andrew Nelson propel the Rams to their first win of the season.  A much better story comes out of Mississippi, where the Immanuel Christian Rams beat New Site HS 82-80 in eight overtimes.  Hey Washington family members...doesn't Puyallup have anyone who can write about high school sports?

UPDATE:  Seems that Summit Continuation will offer BOTH boys and girls volleyball this year.  Stay tuned...

Crowding Kickoff

Thank goodness Union doesn't play 'til tonight, Navy gets a week off, USC and Air Force start in ten minutes, and Army doesn't play until tonight.  Short version...

• Union rebounds on the road against Utica
• Air Force SHOCKS THE WORLD and upsets Michigan
• Army beats San Diego State
• BYU walks over Weber State
• USC trounces Syracuse
• New Mexico is trounced by Texas

Going to brave threats of thunderboomers and hail to see B. B. King live tonight at the Morongo Casino & Resort.  See ya in the morning.

Fact-checking Leads to Crow-eating

Week #1 is in the books, but not without some backpeddling to do.

REPORT:  Notre Dame and Navy played in London.

FACT:  The two schools played in Dublin.  Not sure who played in London...Arsenal and  Liverpool?  (P. S.  John Carroll and St. Norbert also played in Dublin yesterday, at a place called "Donnybrook Stadium"...love that.)

REPORT:  Idaho State would give Air Force a tough game, especially through the air.

FACT:   Though the Pocatato Pussycats threw for lots of yards, none led to a TD.

REPORT:  The University of New Mexico sucks.

FACT:  Final score...UNM 66, Southern 21.  (OK, Wofford fans, it WAS Southern...their band would still kick ass.)

Here's the rest of the news, according to me:

Salve Regina 17, Union 14.  Clinging to a 14-6 lead after three quarters, Garnet whiplashed by two quick Seahawk scores and can't rally in time.  New QB Connor Eck under 50% completions but throws for 172 yds. and one TD.  Altogether Dutchmen roll up 340 yds. of total offense, besting SR in every category.  Sadly, this isn't hand grenades or horseshoes, and only the final score counts.

Air Force 49, Idaho State 21.  Big day for guys with names ending in the letter "Z", as Falcons' QB Connor Dietz and Cody Getz headline new-name offense that rolls up 628 yds. of total offense and sends ISU down like a vodka-soaked MIG-17.  But in a contest that draws almost no attention across America, State coach Mike Kramer pays tribute to The Academy's "shocking perimeter blocking".  Good, 'cause USAFA will need it next week when they meet a wounded Michigan squad embarassed yesterday by Alabama.

Notre Dame 50, Navy 10.  Where's Joe Belino when you need him?  For that matter, let's just bring Paul Johnson back from Georgia Tech.  USNA victories over the Irish in 2007, 2009, and 2010...jeez, what a difference a year or two makes.  Mids are no challenge for revitalized Irish team that is picked by many to be the comeback team of 2012.  Saturday's victory is especially impressive given that ND plays without starting QB and RB.  But really...who's the marketing genius who conjures up the name "Emerald Isle Classic" for this one?

BYU 30, Washington State 6.  Not exactly what I envision as I turn on the TV looking for the "Battle of the Cougars".  Neither Bronco Mendenhall nor Mike Leach will win any beauty contests.  Of course, "mainstream media" is highly impressed with Cougars opener (ba-da-BING!).  But Wazoo...really??  OK, Riley Nelson is a nice QB, but let's not confuse him with Gifford Nielson just yet.  Besides, we're still struggling to get by the mourning period for Jake Heaps.  Anyway, LDS boys look pretty balanced on offense, but jury will be out on their defense until they face someone who can produce more than -5 yds. total rushing.

USC 49, Hawaii 10.  Grannie Denise steps away from the screen to answer her cell phone just after kickoff and misses QB Matt Barkley launching a TD pass to WR Marqise (without the "u") Lee.  From then on, total domination.  We blink...USC scores.  Those guys are BIG...and FAST.  'Bows do manage a couple of impressive drives, although QB Sean Schroeder spends most of the afternoon running for his freaking life.  Best moment of the game (with the exception of dinner at halftime) is Barkley getting dumped on his backside and coming up screaming at his "blocker", Tailback Silas Redd.  But of course Redd just arrived from Penn State a couple of weeks ago and still is afraid to go in the showers.  (Sorry...too soon?)  Unlike Mark Sanchez before him, Barkley is smart to have returned for his senior season.  Then again, I saw the Alabama-Michigan highlights this morning...

And yes, Virginia, there was high school action after all!

Windham 47, South Portland 13.  (I didn't say it was FAVORABLE action.)  Back when I spent my summers at Little Sebago Lake, the only football team Windham had was on our beach, goal-line stands with Carl Roediger trying to prevent me from pushing the ball across the shoreline.  Three lines to distract you from the results of this game, and the once-proud Riots getting pushed all over George Martin Field by the Eagles. First-year senior QB Damien Shepard runs for 142 yds. and scores four times, while the defense takes the Riots to Pratt Abbot's (inside South Portland dry cleaner joke).  Here's an unlikely quote from--who else--8th year coach Steve Stinson:  "The game went kind of the way we thought it would--with good things and bad things, and a lot of teachable moments."  Hey coach, didn't you get the memo...there's no such thing as a "teachable moment" anymore.

Federal Way 41, Rogers 14.  Apparently the only time a Rogers game is detailed anywhere in the Washington state press, it's gotta be a win.  All I can determine from the worldwide web is that they got stomped by Fed Way.  Maybe we can find a way to match the 6,285th-ranked Rams and the 4,225th-ranked Riots for an early season game.  Steve Stinson could use it as a "learning experience" and Rams' coach Gene Bowen could explain how he expects to make the SPSL4 playoffs by continuing to allow opponents an average of over 400 yds./game in total offense.

Welcome Back, Both Of You!

It's Week 1 and I'm already off to a very rocky start.  First week of school is always crazy, but after 21 years you'd think I'd have a better handle on it.  Missed Thursday night's kickoff, with Brigham Young manhandling Wazoo, forgot last night's epic between Boise State and Michigan State (won by the higher-ranked Spartans), and am already behind the 8-ball as Notre Dame is playing Navy in London as we go to press.

This year we'll follow the fortunes of the usual culprits:  Union, Air Force, and Army aside from those already mentioned.  Plus, after having gotten married in July, I owe it to my new mother-in-law to stay on top of the top:  USC, the graduate alma mater of her late husband.  In fact, we have a date for the Hawaii game this afternoon!  I haven't even begun to consider the high schools, though.  We were told just the other day that budget cuts mean we'll only field girls volleyball and boys and girls basketball this year at Summit Continuation.  I thought of starting a swimming team, but the sink isn't regulation length or depth in Room 305.

Finally, I gave a great deal of thought (three minutes) in selecting this year's doormat in major college football.  And the loser is...the University of New Mexico.  Lobos are 2-26 over the last two seasons, and somehow pried former Notre Dame coach Bob Davie out of his booth at ABC to take over.  There are other programs that may merit consideration as the worst, including some with big-name coaches trying to resurrect their reputations following falls from grace for one reason or another.  But nobody has a pedigree as deep in the ditch as New Mexico.  When Brian Urlacher (class of '00, now wit da Bearssss) is your most recent claim to fame, your program is as low as it will go.  Lotsa luck, Lobos...you're gonna need it.

Here's what's left of the Week 1 sched:

Union (0-0) vs. Salve Regina (0-0).  Dutchmen coming off mediocre (6-4) season, though 5-1 in conference.  Forced to face Seahawks on the road in inaugural meeting last year, Garnet will have home field advantage this time around.  Could be a rebuilding year; although 6 starters return on offense and 7 on defense, those gone include all-league players at wide receiver and placekicker, as well as starting QB and running back.  As disloyal as it may sound, my head says this week will not be happy.  PICK:  Salve Regina.

Air Force (0-0) vs. Idaho State (0-0).  Falcons down five key players, at least one of which apparently is the subject of a drug investigation, according to sources.  Nevertheless, don't count out "the Academy", which can guarantee players who will work hard and step up when called upon.  Idaho State?  Consider Roderick Rumble (not kidding, great name eh?), RB who averaged over 120 yds./game last season.  But running teams don't fare well against the Falcons, you say.  Consider QB Kevin Yost, a prolific passer, mostly to both Rumble and WR David Harrington.  Question is:  can Bengals (Bengals??) stop Air Force ground game?  PICK:  Air Force.

#1 USC (0-0) vs. Hawaii (0-0).  Sanctions?  We don't need no stinkin' sanctions!  Men of Troy back with a vengeance, including coach Lane Kiffin who can't decide whether or not he's going to vote in the coaches poll (and whether or not he's gonna tell the truth about who he voted for).  I went to Hawaii on my honeymoon in August, and cannot imagine that the 'Bows can muster up enough players to compete with the Trojans.  PICK:  USC.