Be Careful What You Wish For

Smack Daddy is riding high on a perfect week!  First time in history, I believe.  OK, so I was mistaken in thinking the BYU-Boise State game was in Boise.  So much for perfection.  But I also won $125 in last week's pro football pool in which I've been playing for the past few years.

Here's the rundown on Week #8:


Rochester 21, Union 7.  Another great performance by the Garnet defense, which does not allow a Yellowjacket score in the first half.  The story behind the 21 points is turnovers:  a bad snap on a punt, a fumble, and an interception.  Another Massachusetts Kennedy--this time Dean, from Scituate--tosses three TD passes as Rochester rallies from 7-0 deficit to hand Union its second straight loss.  Dutchmen able to muster only 164 yards of total offense behind backup QB Nick Becker.

"Falcon Stadium, huh?"

Notre Dame 45, Air Force 10.  Apparently Irish catch Air Force looking ahead to Army.  QB Tommy Rees feasts on Falcon meat, throwing for a career-high five TDs on 17-of-22 passing.  High note for The Academy comes when RB Colton Huntsman cashes in from ten yards out, making it 55 straight games in which Air Force has scored a rushing touchdown.  But it's the Falcon defense, allowing over 7 yds./carry and 12 yds./reception, that once again is their undoing.

Navy 24, Pittsburgh 21.  Middies win on a Nick Sloan 30-yard field goal as time expires.  Behind most of the game, Navy scores the final ten points in the last four minutes of play.  QB Keenan Reynolds once again leads the way, only this time he throws for more yards (105) than he rushes (93).  Reynolds makes it count with a 58-yarder to slotback Marcus Thomas to open the 2nd quarter.  Fellow slotbacks Geoffrey Whiteside (7.3 yds./carry) and Darius Staten (8.7 yds./carry) take the load of Reynolds, contributing to an 11-minute edge in time of possession.

Kind of edgy for Provo, no?

BYU 37, Boise State 20.  Uncharacteristic of Chris Peterson's Boise State teams of recent years, this game is never close as BYU jumps out to a 24-3 halftime lead.  Cougar QB Taysom Hill completes 27-of-41 for 339 yards and three TDs.  Game also marks BYU's first-ever win over the Broncos.  While the Cougars' rubber-band defense gives up almost 500 yds., it also forces four Bronco turnovers negating another quality performance by QB Grant Hedrick (29-46-1).

USC 19, Utah. 3.   Another stellar performance by the Trojan defense.  Good thing because there's not much left of the offense.  Ute QB Travis Wilson, still exhibiting effects of a throwing hand injury, is lifted after going just 5-of-14 and being intercepted twice.  Without Wilson, Utah offense gags on USC defense which limits them to just 201 yards.  By the same token, Trojans unable to run for more than 30 yards against Utah's defense.  Clearly, USC is not the team that ranked among the nation's best for most of the preceding decade.  Don't expect interim head coach Ed Orgeron to get much more than a handshake at the end of the season.

Oregon front four

#2 Oregon 42,  #17 UCLA 14.  Not your ho-hum blowout for the Ducks, who fumble and have a punt blocked in the first quarter.  But when the dust settles on Sunday, Oregon has climbed back to #2 in the country after a week behind Florida State. RB Byron Marshall steals the show with 133 yards and three rushing TDs.  Credit to the Bruin defense for allowing Heisman hopeful QB Marcus Mariota just 230 yards and one touchdown through the air, while limiting him to a career-low 18 yards of rushing.

Maybe this is G-State's problem...

Louisiana-Monroe 38, Georgia State 10.  When is the bye week?  It can't come soon enough for the poor Panthers, who are blown out on the road.  Again.  Warhawks completely overwhelm Georgia State, with QB Kolton Browning throwing for 224 yards and four TDs.  G-State's QB Ronnie Bell (2-for-9, 22 yds., 2 INTs), his confidence shaken, is lifted in the 2nd quarter.  ULM defense forces four turnovers and makes repeated stops in the Panther backfield all night long.

Portland 38, South Portland 14.  The 97th renewal of the Battle for the Bridge has shades of last year's Super Bowl.  Following first series of downs, lights at Fitzpatrick Stadium go off.  Add that to sub-40-degree temps, and you have the makings of an unpleasant night.  And so it is for the Riots, who start strong but eventually are drubbed by arch-rival Portland.  The Bulldogs sustain drives of 99, 80, and 95 yards.  RB Justin Zukowski runs for 226 yards and three TDs.  Riots are left waiting to see what seed they'll be awarded for upcoming playoff run.

Curtis 53, Rogers 48  Well, it certainly isn't for lack of heroics by QB Grayson Madland.  All he manages to do is throw three TD passes, two of which are for 73 and 84 yards respectively.  LaGrant Peegram and Kyler Oooley each have over 125 receiving yards.  But the hero of this shootout is Curtis RB Donnell Diego, who runs for four scores of his own as well as catching a TD pass from QB Scott Wismer.

Parting Shots

Last week we all heard about Alabama coach Nick Saban's rant about students leaving Crimson Tide games early, right?  So I think it's only fitting that I present the Top 5 jokes about Alabama football.

#5:  It's reported that Nick Saban will only dress 20 players for the LSU game.  The rest will have to dress themselves.

#4:  Q:  What does the average Alabama football player get on his SAT score?  A:  Drool.

And when you're done with the wart...

#3:  An Alabama football fan walks into the doctor's office one day with his hat on.  He takes off the hat, and the doctor sees that there is a big frog sitting right on top of his head.  The doctor looks at the fan and asks him why he has a frog sitting on his head.  It was the frog who replied "Actually doc, I was the one who wanted to see you. Can you remove this wart off my butt?"

#2:  Q:  What should you do if you find three Alabama fans buried up to their necks in cement? A:  Get more cement.

And......The #1 joke:

What do a parasite and an Alabama fan have in common?  They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years.

(Check out the picture above, one more time...)